Healed people, heal people!
Updated: Feb 17
“You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head. Be kind to yourself and being kind to others will come naturally” ~Unknown
Talking to yourself and your loved ones in a nurturing way can be a challenge if we rarely heard nurturing words in the early formative years of our lives. In fact, if we were often criticized or neglected, we probably learned to criticize and neglect ourselves and our loved ones. That is not an excuse to remain stagnant or stuck in the past hurt, we need to grow and change based on our past experiences. Be better, do better. Growing up as I did, I struggled with low self-esteem, I was deeply depressed, I depended on other people for approval, and I neglected my dreams among other unhealthy habits all because I didn’t believe in myself. This led me to continue to self-sabotage my life and my relationships in ways I didn't even know I was doing. Over the time I’ve done work to heal and have made significant progress in all these areas. But growth is ever evolving, you never stop growing and learning or you shouldn't allow yourself to.
I’ve discovered the meaning of love for others and love for myself. I’ve learned to set healthy boundaries and accept myself as I am, without needing approval to feel good about myself or the people around me. And I’ve educated myself so I’m able to handle stress and face my problems in more healthier ways than before. I am not perfect but more of a work in progress.
Most importantly, I’ve learned to speak to myself and others in a more loving and nurturing way. I asked myself, “What loving words did I need or want to hear or do and want to hear now today.” I wished I could have heard “You are so talented and creative,” but I didnt. So I said that statement to myself and boy did I feel a rise of recognition lift inside of my chest as if I was being seen and heard for the first time.
Words are powerful!
This exercise is not about others as much as yourself, it’s about healing; it’s about taking the time to listen to the neglected person inside of us and allowing our voice to speak up about what we have needed for so long but we rarely received from others or from ourselves. Here are some words I would have loved to hear during those early years;
I cherish you.
I want the best for you.
You are a good person.
I want you to keep growing.
You are smart and creative.
I see so much good in you.
I respect your opinion.
I believe you.
I trust you.
I appreciate how hard you try.
I admire you.
I am here for you.
I appreciate your help.
You can depend on me.
Some new nurturing statements to say to yourself and to the people we love;
I care about myself (you).
My/your health is important to me.
I love myself (you).
I believe in myself (you).
I see my/your/our future with confidence and trust.
I am grateful for my/your/our life.
I (you) am/are safe and loved.
I (you) am/are a creative and caring person.
I (you) am a smart and resourceful person.
I cherish the happy moments in (our) life.
I appreciate (your) kindness.
Life is beautiful in so many ways.
There is always something new to discover.
Never give up hope for a better day.
My (our) life is guided by love.
The more time I take to read and nurture myself and my loved ones with these loving words, the more peaceful and grounded I feel. And by speaking to myself more kindly, I am better able to speak to my loved ones and make healthy choices for myself and our lives together.
So in closing, healing starts within and then radiates outward, our words are powerful, use them wisely.
Hurt people hurt people but healed people, heal people.